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MI5 Prefer Ketamine Users Over Ecstasy Fans




British secret police force MI5 have clarified their increasingly relaxed attitude to recruiting the next generation of wannabe James Bonds in a new section for candidates titled ‘Can I apply if I have taken drugs?’


“The Security Service has a strict no drugs policy to which you should adhere from the point of application onwards,” they begin.


“We realise that some of our candidates may have experimented with drugs in the past and this need not be a bar to your application,” MI5 continue.


“We are unable to accept your application if, at the time of your application, you

a) Have used Class A drugs (e.g. ecstasy, cocaine etc) in the last 12 months

b) Have used Class B/C drugs (e.g. amphetamines, cannabis, ketamine etc) in the last 6 months.” (MI5)


Civil liberties campaigner from drugs charity Transform Danny Kushlick was amused.


“MI5 recruitment: distinguishes between Class A and B drug use amongst applicants,” he posted on Twitter, “How quaint.”






More Future MI5 agents?




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