“I really don’t like to travel fancy. I don’t care if I get an economy flight or business class flight; as long as everything is clean I’m down with it.”

As well as running his acclaimed electronic labels Work It Baby and Compuphonic, German electro-tech star Kris Menace remains prolific as a producer, collaborating with the likes of Rex The Dog (Pow!) and Tracid (buchla 200e) and working via his own multiple personas.

Currently finalising two new albums (as Kris Menace and Big Black Van) he’s also set to release a new single Starchild (with Adam Shawn) in between DJ gigs all over the world.

“As far as flying is concerned, I do prefer to fly with Lufthansa though,” he qualifies, “but that’s more because i don’t trust other airlines and I appreciate the German precision. My ex girlfriend is a Lufthansa pilot and therefore I know how stringent their security standards are.”

—-=—-

The Best

Skrufff: What’s been the best hotel you’re stayed in?

Kris Menace: “I’ve seen a few really nice hotels but I can’t pick out one specifically. I don’t care if it’s a 5 or a zero star hotel as long as the carpet is clean and I can sleep quietly.”

Skrufff: What do you need to make a trip perfect?

Kris Menace: “A well planned time schedule and friendly and clean surroundings.”

Skrufff: What do you always travel with?

Kris Menace: “I always take my little TUMI bag which is packed with clothes for the weekend and also my beauty case (oh wow, that sounds gay..!) Other than that, I’m happy with my Iphone/ Ipad or laptop.”

Skrufff: What are your top three travel tips?

Kris Menace: “Japan, Brazil, South Africa . . . Japan is great. I love the nature and the food there and I had one of my best times in Japan. As for Brazil I love the people and the churrasco barbecue there is a killer. Especially picanah. What I loved the most about South Africa was once when I went to the Kruger National Park for a walking safari. That was quite an experience.”

—–=—–

: The worst

Skrufff: What’s been your worst travel nightmare?

Kris Menace: “An airline which doesn’t take seriously enough what they do, flying with an old machine as I discovered a few times in Russia. And dirty hotels. The worst example is when your toilet isn’t cleaned properly where you can still see what the previous guest had to eat. Or beds with spots on them: I’ve seen it all.”

Skrufff: What’s the worst hotel you’ve stayed in?

Kris Menace: “It was a small hotel in France, Riems. I drove there with the car and picked up my friend Alan Braxe. After the gig we arrived at the hotel and after approximately five minutes, I decided to drive home, a five hour journey through the night. The hotel was supposed to be a 4 star hotel yet the elevator was not bigger than 1/2 square meter and you had to close its door by hand. Once you were in your room, the bed sheets and holes in and you could see sperm on them. The room was decorated in grim 60s colours and the bathroom was unbelievably dirty too. There was hair everywhere, the toilet was filthy and there was some shit in it from the guy before.”

Skrufff: What’s the worst experience you’ve had at customs/ Immigration?

Kris Menace: “Oh dear, I don’t wanna’ start there. But I’m banned from America, which sometimes doesn’t help with other countries. Whenever I travel somewhere I’m 100% organised and have all visas etc sorted long before.

The worst experience was with the USA though. I had an appointment with the US embassy. They let me wait there for tewo hours from 7am only to tell me after that, that I was too late. I went nuts and finally made it through a crazy security scan in the hall after which I had to wait for another four hours. They took my fingerprints, wanted my bank account statements and lots more shit then said they will send me my visa details and passport ASAP.

Six weeks later I received my passport saying I can never go to America. The gig was supposed to be 2 weeks before that. I wasn’t able to travel within that time outside Europe because the US Embassy was holding on to my passport.”

Skrufff: How about when you’ve got through customs: have you had any bad encounters after not being picked up with random taxi drivers for example?

Kris Menace: “Just 3 weeks ago in the UK a guy grabbed my arm and started searching through my bag. He asked me what I do. After I told him that I’m a DJ playing Ministry of Sound that night he laughed at me, said ‘you’re a lucky guy’ and wished me all the best for the night.”

Skrufff: What do you avoid on DJ trips?

Kris Menace: “Any stress. I always try to travel with a lot of time for transfers and arriving at airports with plenty of time. I hate it when I get sweaty or things become too hectic.”

Skrufff: What’s been the most frightening experience you’ve had on your DJ trips; ever been robbed?

Kris Menace: “Some guys tried to robbed me once, but it didn’t happen in the end, that was in Brazil. Otherwise I’ve never had any majorly frightening experiences; apart from crazy flights or half a airplane crash in Lithuania.”

http://kris-menace.com/

Jonty Skrufff: http://listn.to/JontySkrufff

“It’s a sort of everything crisis, isn’t it. It’s not just banking; it’s politics, it’s the way we run our health service, a social crisis. What started as the collapse of a bank is becoming the collapse of a nation.”

Ministry of Sound founder James Palumbo chatted to Skrufff last week to promote his second novel Tancredi, an apocalyptic Gulliver’s Travels style yarn that starts from the concept that ‘humankind has become so riddled with the disease of short-termism that it ignores its fate.’

“Tancredi decides to make it his mission to save them”, the book’s accompanying press release explains and, chatting to Skrufff today in the café of his South Kensington gym, James admits he shares more than a few preoccupations of his latest fictional character.

“Where a few people were inconvenienced before because Lehman Brothers collapsed now we have houses burning on the street,” he notes, speaking softly but intensely.

“One can sound very shrill and extreme talking about these things (saying that) the world is coming to an end: which isn’t a good look. But it’s difficult to see quite where it’s going to end,” he sighs.

Tancredi: click for more

While his debut novel Tomas (published soon after Lehman Brothers collapsed) dealt with themes of ‘bloated bankers, Russian roubles, salacious socialites and filthy footballers’, Tancredi dissects celebrity culture, in particular today’s short-termism and idiocy of reality TV. Writing it, James admits, was a tougher task than for Tomas.

“I think second books are problematic. The first one is a leap into the dark whereas with the second you’ve had more feedback,” he muses.

“How do I feel about how critics will respond to this one? I’m a little nervous and excited,” he says.

“What I noticed with Tomas was that it mainly attracted five star or one star reviews, and I didn’t mind the one star ones, shredding me (saying things like) “this is the infantile ramblings of a teenager’, ‘not worth the paper it’s written on’. That’s just fine, those reviews actually say as much about the reviewer as the author. The killer reviews are those which ‘this was a reasonable effort, but . . .’

“That’s what I’m watching out for. I’m wondering whether Tancredi will elicit such extreme reactions because it’s less dark than Tomas.”

Skrufff (Jonty Skrufff): Where did you start with the new book?

James Palumbo: “Well relating it to music, when you make your first album, you’ve already had a lot of the material in your head for ages and it comes out quickly and that’s what happened with Tomas. I was so angry about the banking crisis then. So in that sense, like recording a second album, writing Tancredi was a lot more difficult.

But the overall theme- that we’re spiralling towards some ghastly end, the world seems obsessed with short term greed and gratification, politicians ignoring dealing with problems because that would make them unelectable-

It’s all there, but it was less of a fluent process. The banking crisis was so immediate, so visceral and so clear when I was writing Tomas, that that made that one easier to write.”

Skrufff; How does the creative process work for you?

James Palumbo: “I must admit the story, the characters and description are less important than what it is I’m trying to say (through them). Even some of the madder, more tangential ideas are less important because I tend to have some very stupid ideas that jump into my head. I want to talk about, I’m concerned and angry about, contemporary social stuff and the way people are behaving, so I’m not so interested in character development and character depth.”

Skrufff; Why don’t you just speak out about these issues directly as yourself, rather than communicating through a novel?

James Palumbo: “Do you mean by being a non fiction writer?

Skrufff: I mean being ‘James Palumbo’, speaking about the state of the world; both Tomas and Tancredi encourage the concept of taking risks and standing up for what you believe in, why not address the world as you?

James Palumbo: “I understand that but I’m not sure how to do it, wouldn’t that be preaching? There are lots of writers such as Camilla Cavendish from the Times, who writes brilliant articles about short termism and the state of the health service and many other brilliant social commentators. I understand what you’re saying but I also wonder whether people will listen more, if it’s funny.”

Skrufff: Talking a little more about Ministry of Sound, in your recent interview with the New Statesman you talked about how the club changes prices depending on the night and the music. To quote you in full you said; I asked the manager why the bar prices were double the usual. He said: “The guys actually prefer to pay more.” It is just a horrifying, wasteful, awful useless world populated by horrifying, awful, wasteful people”, why do you think people are like this?

James Palumbo: “They want to take out their money in front of their girlfriends, reel off £50 notes, what can I say (shuddering). It’s as horrifying as Nicole Scherzinger . . . did you see her on X Factor last week? She stood up and did some horrendous karaoke version of I Will Always Love You, with tears streaming down her face, her lower lip trembling, sobbing ‘this is why I’m involved with this show, this is why you inspire me’. I felt sick, really nauseous. It’s just how things have become. The guy peeling his £50 notes, the singer on stage in tears, none of it’s gonna last, is it.”

Skrufff: The book includes a device called a moronOmeter, Ministry’s putting out some videos that could arguably be considered moronic . . .

James Palumbo: “Are We?”

Skrufff; Yes, I’d say so. I always think of the Benny Benassi Satisfaction video with the semi naked models writhing around playing with power tools . . .

James Palumbo: “They’re funny. If you look at the Benny Benassi video or Eric Prydz’s Call On Me, they’re funny.”

Skrufff: But you could say the same about X Factor . . .

James Palumbo: “Benny Benassi or Call In Me is self evidently ridiculous, the girl pouting, the expressions of the girls: in the Eric Prydz videos you can see the girls laughing. The problem with X Factor is that it harms people. That sound shrill, but the bottom line is that after their six months of fame, playing in cafes and clubs, it’s game over. And you have the judges sitting there saying ‘you are the next great talent coming out of the UK, you’ll have a great career’ and it’s not true.

That and the ritual humiliation is what disturb me. I think they provide a bad example and that’s a million miles away from girls jumping up and down clutching power tools. It’s the harm test.”

Tancredi is out now.

http://www.jamespalumbo.com/

Jonty Skrufff: http://listn.to/JontySkrufff

New York cops have issued a new ‘Best Practices For Nightlife Establishments’ guide for nightclub owners, which includes a detailed section on how staff should identity suicide bombers.

As well as looking out for ‘two or more people communicating and trying not to be observed’, staff are advised to be suspicious of clubbers in fancy dress (‘individuals who are obviously disguised’) and ‘individuals whose speech includes stuttering, mumbling or chanting, or are hesitant or unresponsive’ (‘like every buzzed nightclub patron’ as the Smoking Gun puts it: http://bit.ly/ngyKLV ).

“There are many factors which may create suspicion of this activity,” the police guide continues.

“ (Such as) individuals with obvious signs of extreme stress or nervousness, such as bulging veins in the neck, profuse sweating, shaking hands, touching the face continuously, involuntary motions, apathy, distant stare or unfocused gazing, feeling the body continuously.”

Click to play Suicide Bomber

Details of the new NYPD guidance emerged over four years after five British men were convicted of planning to blow up London’s Ministry of Sound, though by infiltrating the club’s staff rather than slipping past security disguised as ravers.

“What about easy stuff where you don’t need no experience and nothing and you could get a job,” Jawad Akbar, 23 told ringleader Omar Khyam in a conversation recorded by MI5 in 2004 as they prepared a 600kg fertilizer bomb.

“Like, for example, the biggest nightclub in central London (Ministry) where no-one can even turn round and say ‘oh, they were innocent’, those slags dancing around?” (BBC: http://bbc.in/nSchba )

Jonty Skrufff: http://listn.to/JontySkrufff